1. make more organized
2. make it flow
3. connect the sentences
Ethos
1. Include facts so i can become more credible
2. make it slightly more formal to make it more credible
3. support Uchtdorf's more because he is a credible source
Pathos
1. make it more funny
2. have people be moved
3. recreate feelings from football games
I think you have some great ideas to increase your logos, ethos, and pathos. I think using the imagery of being at a football game and recreating those feelings will be a good way to get to your audience's emotions. Also being funny is a great way to improve your pathos. I'll admit that if something can make me laugh, I will usually keep reading it.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like it will be a fun paper to read! I think that getting your audience excited will really help you especially because your audience will be mostly people who actually care about sports! Statistics and facts would also help build your credibility so thats a great idea. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI also think that you have some great ideas to add to your paper. Just make sure you are very specific when putting in the details and making each idea make sense. Really play up the pathos especially for your issue. I think that is the area where you will grab your readers the most.
ReplyDelete